Really unsure of the course of my future. What am I doing? Am I sure of what I want?

Horrible contrast to my essay which i did today entitled "Hope".

Its been a long weekend. Lets start off from Friday.

Friday
Sports day in school. Glenn had told me that he and Christian were commentating for it and asked me to just come down and perhaps speak a little with my many accents. I did head down before the event and sat down with them, apparently my Scottish accent got Christian really high and he told me to stay, hence i commentated for the school sports day. Getting a deathstare from Belinda Charles is definitely not a fun thing, I'm sure Christian would know. Below are some pictures.





Big boss Ming Hui had nightclasses so he couldn't come for cell. Which will also be for the next three weeks. Anyway, Matt led cell, which at that time consisted of Darren and I. Rather small, no?

Saturday
Headed to school to rally for a Chem Olympiad, First round which was a 45 MCQ paper. The paper was rather tedious. Some part of me would rather not go through to the second round. Waiting for the paper before was ridiculously fun with Anand, Bryan and the rest. Everything else after was horribly unproductive.

Sunday
Well, the usual of every Sunday. Life gets rather repetitive after awhile.

English paper on Thursday, got to hand up my Journal tomorrow which means I will probably produce about 5 more pages today or 3 depending on how much I have left. Gah. Oh well, its been a fun ride.

I could stay in my own bubble world. I'm sure its nice to be in here.

Loyal aren't you?

Today I learnt a few things.

#1: Mrs Diana Koh is an awesome teacher. She bought the class reference books out of her own money. That really shows something. Also, she got some money from Jersey Numbers of the ruggers in class. And now with that money, she plans to give us a treat. Generous. Definitely admirable.

#2: Life is fragile, death is sudden. The one that passes definitely goes a better place which we must always remember. Surely there will be an initial shock, after that, we must accept what comes in. I need to live life ready for anything.

#3: There comes a time where I must put myself aside and put others first. Although one may put others first in the things he do and the motives of his thoughts, his pity he reserves for himself.

I need to know my place.
sigh.

And it dawned on me.

Sick and tired. I won't ask why. Your will be done and pray i understand one day.

Machiavellian

Why haven't the last few days been rather fun? Have they? Can't be bothered anymore really, I'm pretty sure we did our part. Oh and congratulations Mr Bryan Chong or as known in our class as Legend for getting your name in the papers.

Can't really find time to think about myself, due to the angst instigated by the whole situation, that being the outside flamewars. Ridiculous now that i think of it.

I need to go back into my hole. I'm pretty sure this feud clash won't matter in awhile, but other things will, lets work on that.

Oh, yes, Work. Something i need to do desperately.

"Work, work, work"
-Peon

Irate

Glenn titles his blog posts. I shall do so too.

Its not the individual, but the actions of the individual. Somewhat annoying. What convinces us that we should not be infuriated with the individual but only with his actions, and how can we be sure that we love the person as we are to?

Or is it just me? Oversensitive perhaps. Maybe it's me who is quick to see the fault of the other while i may be the actually problem, after all, telling one to stop complaining is an exploding gun. The pot will turn black as it calls the kettle black.

Yeap, maybe its just me.

Why are you coming back to me. You shouldn't be here. I purged you out of myself a long time ago. I substituted you, how are you back? The same way before? I created you out of my mind but now you're back and I'm not in control. What do you want? If I could purge you once and see the truth I can do it again.

As for you, I see you're back. This time you make rational sense. Yet I won't feed you, you will bring nothing but destruction, after all, you brought me to act rashly and hence I now face consequences. Although what you speak sounds like the truth, you were only created to speak what i saw. I regret having you, but yet, I only have myself to blame for your existence.

Lastly, where have you gone? I let you trick myself with the lies you told. Such great fortunes you offered me, yet you were wrong. I can't blame you for speaking falseness, you were probably confused too. Yet, you had let me use you as a platform to rise above others. Surely you had done good to me. Help me purge the first one and come back.

Tea goes very well with Chocolate coated anything (Not including Chocolate Coated Bastards [laugh]) a lot better than Milk. Plain Tea>Milk.

Had swimming today, training that is, helped to cover for my teacher who was away being a senior rocks much. We had water polo after training and i was playing keeper when one of my Juniors started coming up to talk to me. He started splashing water in my face and I just let him do it then he asked me "Why you don't get angry one?" in which i replied "I'm a patient man." Wonder how much of that is true. If only i could always be patient. Stay calm, don't overreact, think thoroughly, execute perfectly and look smart. Sounds British, which i am not.

What do i do now?

Thanks Guys
Really Appreciate You

Just got back from Zong's birthday party. Happy Birthday Zong! Usual at his place, Rockband, Laksa and Soccer. Found the Chelsea V.S. Manchester United match rather hilarious. Ridiculous referee. Anand is now my new Russian friend.

Last night's Good Friday Combined Youth Worship was pretty awesome. Very much different from the past services but as Kenneth and Guan You agreed, the objective of the service was different, hence its execution being so different too. Could do with one of the old re-affirming in faith services.

I'm starting to turn paranoid. Probably everyone dislikes me. No, can't be, thats ridiculous. Not everyone has met me yet.

I'll try to sleep.